Title: Longtime Duesberg dittohead Celia Farber DITCHES DUESBERG, then acts like a doc!
Post by: Anthony Brink on February 10, 2010, 01:27:29 PM
[Rod Knoll Comments:
The topic title for this thread was chosen by this forum's administrator (yours truly) and not by Mr. Brink. Scroll down to the next message for new, additional comments in an updated message I have just posted in January, 2015.]
Blog posts concerning the Parenzee case were suppressed either by Farber's webmaster or by Farber herself on her own venue1
1. CLICK ON THIS LINK (http://www.tig.org.za/The_Truth_Barrier.htm) for more information.
(In addition to Mr. Brink's replies, the original posts in question made by Farber herself have since been deleted from Farber's forum.)
Also see THIS LETTER (http://www.tig.org.za/Perth_Group_to_Celia_Farber.htm) from the Perth Group to Farber. For Farber's dismal reply and another idiotic rant from David Crowe go to http://www.tig.org.za/RA.htm then search for the phrase "The Perth Group write to Celia Farber" on that page, and read all the links contained in that paragraph.
And scroll down to the next message below for more information...
Title: More on Celia and her "frequencies"
Post by: Rod Knoll, blogger on February 19, 2010, 05:55:35 AM
"I want to shut up now. Sometimes I really want to shut up and I can't...."
-Celia Farber on Facebook, June, 2013
Rod Knoll Comments:
(First of all, again, the topic title for this thread was chosen by this forum's administrator-yours truly- and not by Mr. Brink.)
LATEST UPDATE: It's unfortunate that Celia Farber seems unable to follow her own advice, particularly the message above that she posted on Facebook in 2013. Most recently, Farber has taken to giving ADVICE, telling a long-time member of the dissident community that he "...can stay healthy rather inexpensively with a few choice foods and supplements..." and that she "can help you if you like."! This is just the latest example of a proverbial STEWARDESS WHO THINKS SHE CAN FLY THE PLANE (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=56.msg94#msg94).
My older comments continue below:
I can only assume that divorce must be rough.
I can only assume so because I have been very fortunate in that I have not had to endure a broken family myself. I can thankfully only imagine the horrors of divorce that must be inflicted on children of broken families.
Celia Farber might have been severely traumatized by her own parents' real-life divorce.
I know it is dime store psychology I am practicing, here, but that is the only rational explanation I can find for Farber's increasingly bizarre behavior that she has exhibited in the past few years since the "divorce proceedings" among the AIDS dissident community to whom Farber herself has referred as a sort of "family". (see this document: http://tig.org.za/RA&RAConference&PGSep1609.pdf for more information)
The problem, though, is that veteran dissident and diehard Duesberg supporter Farber chose to consult a modern artist for help in exorcising what she has called "demons", of which yours truly apparently is one, according to Farber herself. Farber has failed to realize that, instead, she probably needs to consult a qualified psychiatrist to help her deal with the mental anguish that she has inflicted on herself in the wake of the great dissident divorce. One wonders if Farber lacks the resources and the access to the proper therapeutic outlets for resolving IN PRIVATE whatever mental issues she has?! It is almost as if Farber seemingly has chosen to inflict her own real-life, apparently unresolved divorce issues on the entire AIDS dissident community.
After all, the AIDS dissident movement IS all about HER, judging from Farber's own various postings. Celia Farber is a white, self-centered, self-entitled, bat-shit crazy (scroll down to see examples in content below) American child of privilege and wealth who supports the Tea Party, can afford to live in a nice neighborhood in Manhattan (probably because she receives financial support in addition to her own presumably paltry income) and who once referred to yours truly as "a low-rent punk". As such, Farber might have had her ego inflated even more due to a recent development when courts recently also proclaimed that Farber is a "limited-purpose celebrity"? Part of Farber's notoriety comes from her repeated rants against political correctness, and, as anybody with half a brain can tell you, such right wing ideology is not very helpful for any literate AIDS dissidents who are making attempts at reaching an audience comprised of gays and others affected by the "AIDS" scam!
However, one of the most offensive examples of Farber's "anti-PC" feelings has to be a remark she made to a friend in private some years ago during the antebellum period of the AIDS dissident movement when she was still friends with a Perth Group supporter. While writing in private from one friend to another, Farber joked to her then-friend that the color of the text in his e-mails is always-in Farber's own words-
"a faggy blue"!!
My hope is that the color of this text-which I use throughout this venue- is "faggy" enough to repulse Farber.
At any rate, putting aside all speculation, what is undeniable is the fact that since the civil war between the two main factions of AIDS dissidents was escalated circa 2009, Celia Farber, who now repeatedly asserts that "AIDS is a frequency" (!), has exhibited a bizarre combination of behavior consisting of a variable pattern of:
1. vicious, unsolicited and personally insulting private e-mails Farber sent to those of us who are espousing that the Perth Group are right and Duesberg is wrong and that he must be made to answer for his unproven claims about "HIV" and the etiology of "AIDS", as well as public displays by Farber of such attacks and lies.
2. outright lies about various other issues (Scroll down in this message)
and last but not least
3. An ongoing and unfortunately public "New Age acid trip" (see content below)
In her reply to the Perth Group's document on Montagnier's "Mea Culpa", Farber writes about Djamel Tahi's major interview with Luc Montagnier during which the so-called discoverer of "HIV" admitted to Tahi that they (Montagnier's team at the Pasteur Institute) "did not purify" the virus. See http://www.virusmyth.com/aids/hiv/dtinterviewlm.htm for the transcript of this interview which every dissident with half a brain knows was a significant development.
Farber claims in her reply to the Perth Group's criticism:
"(Tahi's interview) was widely cited and discussed (by AIDS dissidents), as all major breakthroughs have been", and then Farber claims that she, too "cited (Tahi's work) and wrote about it..."
Unfortunately for Farber, the internet is a powerful tool and is rather useful for searches of one's previous writings. Contrary to Farber's assertion that the Tahi interview of Montagnier was "widely cited and discussed" by dissidents, a search for the name "Tahi" (https://www.google.com/search?as_q=tahi&as_epq=&as_oq=&as_eq=&as_nlo=&as_nhi=&lr=&cr=&as_qdr=all&as_sitesearch=virusmyth.com&as_occt=any&safe=images&tbs=&as_filetype=&as_rights=) on the oldest and longest-running dissident web site virusmyth yields citations of Tahi and his interview that are almost exclusively made by the Perth Group and/or Continuum Magazine, which was the venue that originally published the interview. Also, apparently contrary to Farber's other claim that she "cited (Tahi's work) and wrote about it", no citations of Tahi appear in any of the articles which Farber wrote which are archived on the virusmyth site.
It is possible that dissidents-including Farber-may have cited the Tahi interview in old internet forums (such as the old virusmyth forum), but I find it interesting that such a "major breakthrough", as Farber herself calls it, could have been cited and discussed so much by Farber or ANY of her fellow Duesberg dittoheads on internet fora but would NEVER have been cited-not even ONCE- by ANY of them in ANY of the articles they all wrote after Continuum published the interview....
Undoubtedly, Farber is angry at the Perth Group for actually asserting themselves and disassociating-or "divorcing" from the Rethinking AIDS group as they did in the document at THIS LINK (http://tig.org.za/RA&RAConference&PGSep1609.pdf), despite the fact that it was Farber herself who was the first one to suggest such a divorce! From the vitriol she expressed in her psychotic, harrassing private e-mails, it is clear that Farber is also certainly angry at those of us who have publicly defended the Perth Group from Farber's efforts at distorting the truth about what has been done to the Perth Group by the Duesberg faction of RA. Farber publicly has called Perth Group supporters "lethally academic", and, in a manner typical of a right-wing loony, Farber even called me a "far left dissident bolshevilki" as if that was meant to insult me! The joke, as always, is on Farber, as I really enjoyed having that label bestowed upon me!
At any rate, what Farber and other diehard Duesberg cultists who are angry at the Perth Group and angry at us Perth Group supporters fail to realize is that Duesberg has no one but himself to blame for this civil war that now exists between the two main factions of the AIDS dissident movement. The "virus challenge" originally issued by Continuum Magazine and the Perth Group in the mid 1990's was NEVER meant to be directed at Peter Duesberg. No one was forcing HIM to step forward and claim the reward for the missing virus. However, in an apparent and woefully inadequate effort to defend his life's work in the failed field of retrovirology, it was DUESBERG HIMSELF who purposefully CHOSE to submit a claim, thereby compelling the Perth Group to engage in a debate with HIM on the topic of the purported "isolation" of "HIV". However, obviously the true targets of the Continuum "virus challenge" campaign were orthodox "HIV" researchers like Gallo, Montagnier, Fauci, et al. and NOT Duesberg. Only Duesberg knows his real motivations for trying to claim the "missing virus" reward. In doing so, Duesberg was either incredibly STUPID or he WANTED to divide the dissident movement.
If it was the latter, Duesberg certainly got his wish...
In addition, Farber has ironically repeatedly cried "victim". Yet, this begs the question: what is one to make of Farber's own behavior she has exhibited over the past few years during which time Farber herself has repeatedly chosen to attack Eleni Papdopulos-Eleopulos (hereafter referred to as "Eleni P-E", "Eleni"), an undeniably brilliant woman of Greek heritage who is probably old enough to be Farber's mother??!! Farber has been made aware that her relentless lies and attacks on the Perth Group have repeatedly made Eleni very upset. However, Farber has chosen to continue with HER attacks against Eleni, all the while having the gall to hypocritically claim that she, Farber, is a victim of "misogyny"!
As the Perth Group have noted in their document where they dissociate from David Crowe's Rethinking AIDS group:
"Anyone studying Celia’s emails and postings...could not fail to notice that she too can be remarkably feisty and is not averse to throwing sticks and stones at Anthony (Brink) or the Perth Group"
(see again this document: http://tig.org.za/RA&RAConference&PGSep1609.pdf )
Furthermore, if one wishes to invoke misogyny, one also has to wonder where it was that Celia Farber stood during the entire history of the old "Group for Scientific Reappraisal of the HIV/AIDS Hypothesis" (hereafter referred to as "the Group") when it was a male-dominated board of directors that controlled that organization which, despite the fact that it was DEAD by 2005, is claimed to be the pre-cursor to the current Rethinking AIDS group led by cell phone salesman David Crowe? Farber may have been the first bimbo elevated by the all-white, all-male, all-heterosexual (except when John Lauritsen joined the board of the old "Group") power clique in charge of the AIDS dissident movement, but she was hardly the last.
Farber and fellow American, the late Christine Maggiore were the only two women to ever sit on the board of the old Group. Both women were lay people, of course. Despite the fact that both could be deemed rather physically attractive by hetero standards, Maggiore had a limited capacity-which Farber continues to exhibit- to understand the scientific material. Unfortunately, Farber continues to feel compelled to keep discussing and analyzing this technical material in public arenas, despite her own admission in those public arenas that she is not really "fluent" in the technical issues. Presumably right up until her NUCLEAR BOMB of a death which was dutifully reported as an "AIDS death" by every AIDS industry supporter and his brother, Maggiore was one of the most vehement (LITERALLY "diehard") defenders of Peter Duesberg, just as her former harness mate Farber has been, at least until her recent apparent endorsement of De Harven (see below). I guess, though, for the deceased Maggiore, the heated and widespread coverage of her own death-despite the fact that most of it was devastatingly negative for the dissident movement-was nevertheless quite a pleasing and proud posthumous moment for her, since Maggiore was as much a publicity whore as Farber continues to be. Meanwhile, unfortunately, the undeniable and profound failure of Duesberg's hypothesis -which Maggiore promoted throughout most if not all of her career as an internationally famous/infamous AIDS dissident- continues to get swept under the carpet by Farber and other supporters.
Despite being resolutely out to lunch on many of the scientific issues she would repeatedly attempt to discuss (a deficiency that the late Maggiore shared with Farber), Maggiore, however, also had a phenomenally sharp wit and offbeat sense of humor. These are two things that Farber definitely lacks as does practically everyone else in the dissident movement. Another key difference between Farber on one hand and on the other hand, Maggiore and other latter-day Maggiore wannabees-both male and female- who achieved prominence in the dissident movement is that Farber has never claimed to have tested "seropositive" on any tests for so-called "HIV". As such, Farber has an additional deficiency in a PR sense in that she doesn't have the appropriate "serological status" necessary in order to be deemed a complete "heroine", which is how many idiotic AIDS dissidents to this day continue to regard Maggiore. In addition, as a presumed "seronegative" individual, Farber is also infinitely less susceptible to any efforts that mother nature might care to make in order to shut her up permanently. (This, unfortunately, was the only way that Maggiore would ultimately shut the fuck up.)
While Maggiore never publicly admitted to her intellectual shortcomings, Farber herself has recently finally conceded her failure in this regard (see below). Unfortunately that has not stopped Farber from continuing her embarrassing attempts at writing about the sometimes highly technical issues surrounding "HIV" and "AIDS". Nor has this fact retarded in any way the dissident leadership's support of Farber just as they also continue their support of the late Maggiore posthumously, and in many shocking instances, their support borders on idolatry of Maggiore. However, the leaders of RA and the dissident movement, in fact, have always had a habit thinking with their penises (see: http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=32.msg51#msg51 for more information on this).
Throughout its history, the old Group did many things that were purposefully meant to limit promotion of the Perth Group and Perth's theories at the benefit of Duesberg and the contingent supporting him, although certainly the treatment that the Perth Group received from the old Group back then was not nearly as bad as how Crowe has treated Perth in his new RA group. In addition to the fact that Eleni P-E of the Perth Group was never invited, of course, to sit on the board of Crowe's all-new RA Group, Eleni also was NEVER put on the board of the old Group (for more information on the history of the RA group and its predecessor, see the message I have titled "What If Everything You Thought You Knew About AIDS *Dissidence* Were Wrong?" at http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=30.0 (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=30.0)).
It needs to be stressed that the Perth Group's leader Eleni P-E, unlike ANY other woman who has EVER sat on ANY board of ANY incarnation of ANY RA Group, is also a scientist whose analyses on AIDS have been repeatedly published and whose work on "AIDS"-UNLIKE that of Farber's idol Duesberg-has NEVER been rebutted where it counts MOST-in the scientific literature. Whether Farber understands it or not, this makes the Perth Group the SCIENTIFIC leaders of the AIDS dissident movement. Notwithstanding the aforementioned fact, the Perth Group's scientific contributions were almost always suppressed by the mostly-male board that was in charge of that old Group, and, suffice it to say, Eleni's science continues to be suppressed to this day by non-scientist businessman Crowe and his mostly male fellow partisans who are in cahoots with Crowe at his new RA group.
Speaking of suppression of the Perth Group's scientific work, it also should be noted that the Perth Group most recently (late spring, 2013) graciously responded to Celia Farber's request for more information about the process of Electron Microscopy. Yet it was Farber who decided to exclude from her latest "story" on EM all content that was graciously provided to her by the Perth Group, despite Farber's own admission that it is "most important, by far" (see below). Farber felt compelled to omit the Perth Group's content apparently because, as Farber herself has conceded many times, she does not "have the mental stamina to unravel" the Perth Group's work.
Farber, who is perhaps one of the original proverbial dissident "stewardesses attempting to fly an airliner" (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=56.0), attempts to include the requisite technobabble in her latest poetry sample, her "story" on EM.
The “debate” about HIV’s causation has been, I’m devastated to realize, obscured by the sheer fact that we used as concepts, symbols, words that lacked meaning. We began by saying “Does HIV cause AIDS,” when we should have said, “What do we mean when we say “HIV?”
If you have the mental stamina to unravel it, please read the writings collected at The Perth Group’s website (http://). I have certainly failed on this front–trying to unravel this. It was the hardest part of the gigantic knot, but it was the most important, by far.
(THEN WHY THE HELL IS FARBER EXCLUDING IT???)
The knot ties all perceptions, illusions, shadows, linguistics, hallucinations, and stunning truths together at its center: HIV’s existence (as exogenous “retrovirus,” in human blood, not as technological artifact,) the “validity” of the “HIV test,” the question of “cause” and pathogenicity, and the question of infectivity.
To accusations that I have not dealt with this adequately, I am guilty as charged.
In other words: I have mostly (not entirely) wasted the past 27 years of my life as an AIDS unraveler.
Now THERE we AGREE! LOL! Except it WAS INDEED a COMPLETE WASTE on Farber's part. However, not unlike a scientific "Mr. Magoo" blindly driving a speeding car down a highway, Farber unfortunately continues to this day (2013) to ignore all signs that are screaming that she should just shut the fuck up and get lost. Yet Celia is blissfully unaware of the profound implications of having wasted all her energy all these years:
But that’s ok, I’m still hopeful and cheerful. Many people waste their lives on worse things than this.
WOW! Talk about POOH-POOHING! Like Farber, I, too, feel that I have WASTED a lot of time (18 years for me) on a faulty cause through my earlier tacit support of Duesberg. However, unlike Farber, I started feeling this way MANY YEARS ago (10+ years) after most of my "positive" dissident friends started DYING!! Notoriously, I would sometimes literally SCREAM at IDIOTS on various internet venues urging them to reject Duesberg, all to little if any detectable avail, as it still seems as though way too many dissidents remain woefully ill-informed and unfortunately resolute in their ill-advised support of Duesberg, including, of course, Farber.
For example: if, as Farber writes, the Perth Group's writings are "the most important" part of "the gigantic knot" she has admittedly failed to unravel, why has Farber not only excluded the Perth Group's material they sent her, but she also has the gall to then present an interview she had with a discredited dissident "scientist" who has notoriously arrogated the Perth Group's scientific analyses and bungled the science on several issues?
How on earth is including a bunch of cringingly bad science in her writings supposed to help her or anyone else "unravel...the gigantic knot"?? Setting aside all of the undeniably weird and kooky new-age language that she has been serving on a silver platter to dissident critics in the AIDS orthodoxy for them to use as fodder against the dissidents, this is hardly the first time since she stepped out of her "retirement" from the dissident cause (circa 2006) that Farber has also embarrassed herself on the science (see: http://theperthgroup.com/LATEST/PerthGroupRebuttalCF.pdf ). Farber has, in this latest effort of hers, merely exchanged Duesberg for a French FOOL (De Harven)! In fact, this "scientist" has such an appalling grasp-or rather, complete LACK thereof-of some SIMPLE terms that one can safely assume that he has become the laughing stock of "dissident science" (an oxymoron if there ever was one). It is doubtful that Farber even has the ability to comprehend that the pet theory-that "HIV" is an ENDOGENOUS retrovirus-which is espoused by her latest dissident "hero" (the hopelessly DENSE DUH-Harven) is diametrically OPPOSED to the theory that has been espoused for decades by her long-time dissident hero (and daddy figure?) Duesberg-that is, the theory that "HIV" is "an EXOGENOUS but harmless retrovirus".
God forbid if THIS is the "hope" that fills Farber!
Please see THIS RECENT BLOG POST (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=59.msg97#msg97) for more information.
Idiot Farber continues to opine on Facebook as recently as early 2014 that she thinks that:
"saying the virus does not exist causes too much resistance and trauma, whereas going through the 'HIV tests' is less overwhelming, and also more grounding, accurate. HIV does exist in and through the technologies that 'exist' to find it...."
This is yet another example of the stupid, incoherent, schizophrenic rantings of ALL the other AIDS dissidents who have, since Farber began writing about the so-called "HIV tests" and Maggiore later began her failed attempts at scientific prowess, attempted to make sense of these technical issues like the problems with the tests, all the while IGNORING the main, underlying factor that is influencing EVERYTHING:
THE MISSING VIRUS
Furthermore, if Farber is unable to understand by now that the Perth Group are saying there is NO PROOF that the virus has been properly isolated and NOT "saying the virus does not exist", then how on earth can we ever expect Farber to understand ANYTHING??!!
Please keep reading the content below for a more extended history of examples of Farber's bizarre actions...
From the "nothing surprises me anymore" category:
In what has become an on again/off again affair with her, Celia Farber has once again decided to step through the apparently revolving door on the exit to the dissident movement, and she is now of the opinion that the dissident movement needs her ....um..."efforts" (as of early 2012). See my note at the end of this message for more details. It may help to keep in mind her history with the dissident cause, including her more recent...ahem..."contributions" such as the items she wrote during the escalation of the civil war between the Perth Group and the Duesberg/RA factions of dissidents.
For example, the following commentary from Farber should prove enlightening:
Celia Farber said
2009/11/17 at 12:30 am
I am writing this from a table-top in Santa Fe, New Mexico, where I retreated to after the conference. I have begun work on a book about the half of my life spent inside this war. Not a book about me but a book about the winning frequency, (love) by way of pain, error, abjection.
Today I turned myself over to a healing place high in the hills, where they have built a box capable of emitting the same frequency as pure love. I plan to get myself into this box every day I am here, and twice on the last day.
(Excerpted from: http://hivskeptic.wordpress.com/2009/11/15/the-family-of-rethinking-aids/#comment-4780 )
This gem from Farber has made discrediting her so easy and, of course, Farber's diatribe excerpted and linked above has been duly and repeatedly cited by many orthodox critics of the dissidents. If Farber is making any effort, especially one like writing "a book about the half of (her) life spent inside this war", one can safely bet that that effort she makes will INDEED be "about" her. She has done this in most of her recent efforts in the dissident movement. In yet another short-sighted move, Farber posted comments on the hijacked forum, which was a pre-cursor to this venue. In one of her entries there, she claimed that the hijacked forum has "graduated to a higher frequency" (!) ostensibly because the twats who hijacked the old forum (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=3.0) have a "negativity filter" that Farber "appreciate(s) and crave(s)".
[Now that a few of the "positive" moderators at the hijacked forum are taking the "anti-HIV" drugs (see: http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=3 ), I am not sure if Farber still thinks that the hijacked forum is operating at "a higher frequency" and if she thinks the forum still has the purported "negativity filter" which she "appreciate(s) and crave(s)"]
Farber also conceded on the hijacked forum in 2010 that she has "never known how to take what (she thinks/feels/knows) and change it into something palatable" and that she wants "to be productive, part of the answer, not unconsciously repeating OLD energy patterns..."
Lastly, she decrees that "All negativity and all accusation should go", but she makes the following exception: "UNLESS it is critical for progress/understanding/forward motion...."
(Celia Farber, 26 March, 2010)
-DUH! That's exactly my point!!
I do agree that all this "negativity and accusation" IS critical for progress, and this is why I've changed the focus (and name) of this forum: to concentrate my efforts to that end. Despite the fact that she claims she is "not unconsciously repeating OLD energy patterns", Celia Farber has exhibited a never ending devotion to Peter Duesberg. She has fashioned herself into-and has allowed herself to be portrayed as-a long-term pseudo-celebrity LEADER of the AIDS dissident movement. However, in light of the undeniable stagnation that has permeated the AIDS dissident movement for such a long time and in light of the fact that Farber is in her third decade of activism as an AIDS dissident., I honestly have to wonder if someone who is in her position should be trusted to know precisely what "is critical for progress/understanding/forward motion"?!
Apparently, Farber also agreed with me on THAT point, too, at least briefly. On 31st March, 2010, Farber announced on the hijacked forum that she was "leaving all AIDS work behind, categorically". However it was all apparently a premature April Fools' joke since the message was deleted within a day.
Farber's message where she claimed to be "leaving all AIDS work behind, categorically" was captured by a third party orthodox AIDS blog. The formatting was lost, though, so all paragraph spacing in the message below is an estimate which may not match the spacing in the original. However, the original is, again, no longer available anywhere on the web.
Here, now is Celia's now-deleted post:
An Open Letter to Jonathan and Concession (hopefully un-doing some damage)
Note: I answer here, a private letter, not included, and address its contents publicly, for reasons addressed in the letter. It is not necessary, for this to make sense, to know which "Jonathan," or to know what the letter said exactly. This speaks to the issue of misplaced anger, and amends.
Your lengthy letter of criticisms, or "concern" about me is not without merit, and I am well aware of how long overdue it is for me to shut up, once and for all. In my increasingly desperate efforts to connect, communicate, rouse, awaken, shake up, change, and somehow cast off all the oppressive clouds of this whole thing, I lost my way. Thank you for bringing that to my attention, however painful it may have been, it was an important message for me to hear and it was the same message I had been getting on my own, from my end, and from the people around me, like my family and close friends.
The anger you mention stems from the immense frustration of failure, and failure comes from bad or expired energy, not knowing what you are actually supposed to be doing, or why. I have repeatedly promise/threatened to get out of the way, to quit all this, but I kept getting pulled back, because the powerful emotions were still unresolved, about everything witnessed, experienced, felt and seen that never got set right, or absolved. This made me angrier and angrier until I became chronically combative, and of no use to anybody. The bursts of enthusiasm and hope were so easily punctured, transforming into impotent rage when things didn't change.
Your interpretation, however, that it was "all about" me--that I must counter. It was all about trying to win a war that can't be won-- trying to stop the nightmarish tide of bullying and degradation and sickness and death that we have been subject to as a group, and wanting everybody to fight with the hot-headed temperament that is second nature to me but obviously not something I could dictate in others. I wanted to be be purposeful and effective, but kept reaping the opposite of that. You're quite right, for example, that nobody owed it to me to join a Facebook group opposing 'denialism' just because I was hopped up about it. I realized that when it was too late. But I think it was a little uncharitable to call it my "bandwagon," because if it was a bandwagon, it was one of many that I imagined (insanely) might offer others the same relief I myself was seeking.
Most of my waking hours are spent tending to something or other in the dissident field, lately it has mostly been battles, emotions, hurt feelings, etc. It's not true to say that it is all self-serving. I was genuinely excited for example, about my conversation with Freddie because I thought he represented a new spirit of affirmation and positivity and generosity and life, and that we needed that, as an antidote to massive anxiety. There's alot that I do that you don't know about. It's like being an air-traffic controller. Last few weeks, for example, I started batting away at all kinds of things I wanted to see happen for Tommy Morrison, even engaging my father...memos, people, managers, Page Six, all kinds of stuff that was basically coming from the same place as all the rest, namely the FANTASY that all we need is one break in the case and the wall will come tumbling down. We were ALL like this, for so many years, like a factory, everybody thinking we knew what we were producing, namely the Big Break. One acted for others as a means of acting also for oneself, which is a little bit different from the self absorbtion you assign to me. I was trying to bash my way free. It was one thing after another.
For years, it was EJ. Me and Christine and the fantasy of justice. Poring over every detail over and over, day in day out. For what? Brent Leung called me several times a week for about 8 years. He didn't know anything or anybody. If I could unhook this backpack of history and all the threads that seem to go through me I happily would. Now I can. Your letter helped me with that. I think I overestimated my centrality and importance and underestimated how well everything could chug along without me. None of us were able to do the thing we all dreamed of.
Some of us got smart early and some of us refused to accept reality. I do think, deep inside, that if you fancy yourself "helping" anybody, in some way you are lost. You're feeding yourself, perhaps. That's the level at which I fully accept your criticism. I post this publicly because I am now leaving all AIDS work behind, categorically, and feel I deserve to prattle on one last time about why I need to leave-- shut up already, move on, accept everything as it was, and say goodbye with maturity and not petulance. I hope you can forgive me for my mistakes and transgressions and eruptions. Keep sane, stick together, and don't lose faith in the importance of what you're doing.
(END OF CELIA FARBER'S MESSAGE of 31 March, 2010)
Please go to THIS MESSAGE (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=33.msg53#msg53) for an explanation of why I've been so critical of Farber and Crowe (in case it's not obvious by now).
In one post she wrote after deciding she was staying in the dissident movement, Farber attempted to gain sympathy for her deceitful hero Peter Duesberg by revealing that, apparently since November of 2009, Duesberg has been "under investigation" by the University of California at Berkeley for alleged, potential "misconduct" surrounding a paper he and fellow "HIV is a passenger virus" theorists submitted to the Journal Medical Hypotheses. For more information, please CLICK HERE (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=35.msg60#msg60). However, in a pattern that has become all too familiar with Farber, that message was deleted fairly soon after it was posted.
Prior to putting her "self-victimising New Age acid trip" (as one Perth Group supporter has called it) "on hiatus", Farber had taken to writing about herself in the third person, specifically claiming that she is "not that person who wrote about AIDS". "That's all her", Farber wrote on 25 April, 2010, pondering "how strung out (she) was from people wanting her but not me (Farber)...". Farber then writes that she "created her ('that person who wrote about AIDS'), but she wasn’t giving me any oxygen so now I am leaving her on the high mountain where she can condemn the Gods if she needs to. She can live on, but we must part ways...."
Farber's message about her "hiatus":
"The Truth Barrier will now pause. The main site's archives remain accessible. The forum will close until further notice. Thank you all!"
-remained on the site for a while until...she revived the site again.
Then, on 31st March, 2011, Farber shut down her site again, after reviving it...after shutting it down previously on 31st March, 2010.
One of the efforts Farber put forth between her several hiatuses was an extremely flattering portrait of one Marco Ruggiero, who is supposedly a "dissident" and supposedly a "scientist" whose primary assertion about "HIV" and "AIDS" is that "HIV is not the 'sole' cause of AIDS". For more information on Ruggiero and the many problems with him, please see THIS MESSAGE (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=48.0), and read all the links contained in it.
Then, in early 2012 and after having "parted ways" with "that person who wrote about AIDS", Farber once again reunited with her alter ego, the one she herself has described as "that person who wrote about AIDS". In what has become an annual ritual for her, Farber changed her mind about the dissident cause and decided to be active again in the dissident movement. She was hosting her own internet "radio show" for a few months, and on it she attempted to discuss the science of various issues, most prominently of course was...wait for it....YES, "AIDS", a subject which she herself has often conceded she does not completely understand.
Then, in a welcome development, Farber had stopped doing her show. However of course, Farber has proven unable to resist the spotlight, so she once again foolishly decided that the AIDS dissident cause simply cannot survive without her so-called ...ummm...."frequencies"...so she is making social media posts for the whole world to see where she continues her embarrassing "New Age acid trip"...
(click here for previous discussion (http://www.tig.org.za/index.php?topic=24.0))
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